John describes his experience of how incontinence has affected his life in the past and how it can be managed so life can be lived to the fullest.
“Frankly speaking, I can’t understand why anybody who is incontinent would want to bottle this up,” said Mr Tiner. “It is a condition that impacts your quality of life – where you can go, what you can do, who you can see, what sports you can be involved with, what rows you sit in in theatre (always get an aisle seat), and just a whole bunch of practical things.
"I have moments of complete acute anxiety where I know I've probably got 20 seconds to get somewhere. When you get this anxiety moment, then you can’t think of anything else, your brain is occupied with the need to deal with this and this is why people think that they can’t go out into the open world and face that situation.”
Mr Tiner first became incontinent following treatment for prostate cancer at the age of 48. At first he found it hard to manage the condition but saw his doctor who helped him turn a corner with constructive and helpful advice.
He said: “As soon as you think that you’ve got an issue, you should see your doctor, and in the privacy of your conversation you can talk about whatever you want. I would encourage everybody to just take control of a situation, because it just doesn’t have to be a threat to your quality of life.”
It is estimated that there are six million people across the UK who are dealing with incontinence every day, and limiting their life without needing to. Many urologists believe this figure to actually be twice as high as so many people with incontinence do not ever see a doctor and are undiagnosed. Research by The Urology Foundation shows that more than 50 per cent of people thought incontinence would affect their life but more than 25 per cent said they would delay seeking help.
Mr Tiner added: “The new public information campaign by The Urology Foundation is so important, because incontinence is a silent, Cinderella problem, that one no one wants to talk about, and yet absolutely everything can be done to make your life as normal as it would be without it.
“I think people are embarrassed to talk about incontinence because it’s a dignity question, and people feel that somehow talking about issues related to going to the toilet, is somehow degrading. And yet, it’s really nothing, it’s just another part of the body. If you had a broken shoulder, you’d go to the doctor and try and get it sorted. It’s no different to that.
“The advice I would give to anyone suffering from incontinence is to firstly recognise it. Secondly, accept that you’re not unusual, so there’s no stigma that comes with it. Thirdly go see your doctor, and talk about how you can remedy this and finally just think about your day and about where you can go to the toilet in amongst all that. My experience is that you can live a completely happy and untainted life with this condition.”
